drowned in my sorrows

wanted to blog last nite. was halfway typing actually, skali pc fucked up. oh well. had such a horrible day yesterday. was okay initially, skali in the afternoon did some thinking, ah iatah tu. no good.

chatted with someone in the afternoon and then sanak a bit. logged off, masuk bilik and switched on tv. it was on mtx and daniel beddingfiels's if you're not the one was on. just broke down and cry. tried to be strong about it. so yeah. stopped crying. but cried myself to sleep last night *sobs*

men have an ego the size of russia and africa and america- all together. and yet, they still want us to inflate them. baik talan semua nah. urgh. dont even get me started. helen agrees with me on this. love you to bits len. they're so not worth our time! if they can't make up their mind, if they're messed up, they don't have to mess us up as well. you want us. you just want us, okay? not her, not her, just me, just us. bleurgh. not interested in your emotional games. go fuck yourself lah.

neways, on a happier note, i finally got my forms sorted out. maybe monday faxing them. kk tang said he'll be my referee. so does melissa mayhew. so yeah. got that sorted out finally. just home clement tisdell doesn't mind as well. remind me to email him on monday. i want sam strong to be my referee cos' he loves me. hehe. but his email inda mahu saja ah. buing.

oh yeah len, listened your cd last night until i fell asleep. hehe. so feeling so much better this morning. its all the psychology. oh, spoke to a couple of friends semalam. mentioned that i'm going back to uni, come back brunei, get married and have babies. i want babies. you want babies? hehe. i want babies. i want to dress them in burberry clothes and gucci shoes with lv diaper bags. cutee. haha. feeling very maternal right now. haha. peduli i scare some guys. you are so not worth my time now. like you care anyway. pssf! (got this from wanah & shamai! hehe!)

i know i'm going to have a bad week now. so if you come across my territory with the wrong attitude, go fuck yourself, okay? i don't bloody care anymore. i can be selfish if i want to. i have my own problems. so what if i have an attitude. like you care. so what if you think i dont care about you,like YOU care about me. so what if you think ive changed, everybody changes lah. i dont have time for your child play. grow up!
love me.