disturbing.

had a disturbing conversation earlier on. berfikir olehnya. hmmm... was trying to study but melayang fikiran atu. am going to try put everything in words.

maybe its the whole puasa time thing. you kinda want to put things in perspective. you want to make choices. you want to be in control. hmm. cana ah? im finding it more & more difficult to rearrange my words, to straighten up my thoughts.

i think ive made a mistake by trusting people again. i think im on the verge of another repeat of crap that i went through. it kinda slaps you back in the face when you thought, 'no. whatever thats going to happen now, if things dont go my way, it wont be as difficult as the crap i had to go through before.'
banar pulang i cant expect things to my way all the time but after the shit i went through, i should've learned to be more cautious with people around me. people i thought who were my frens. people whom i thought i could trust. that was my mistake, opening up too soon. trusting too soon. befriending new people and old friends too soon.

pssf. it always takes only one mistake, as always, to destroy everything. even when they said 'apakanni? mengungkit2 ani?'- tough my fren. that happens! berungkit jua tu karang. lapas atu kana balangkan wah ke muka ah. urgh. am i making sense?

entah eh. i dont know what triggered this whole crap. maybe it was that conversation i had. its definetely not my hormones talking, for sure. im just bloody annoyed. its probably my fault for choosing to feel this way when i could just oh-ignore-everything. but tell me, what am i supposed to do?

just when i thought, life will be fine. it will not. life is funny and never simple.